B.O.B. (the Best of Bob)

Vol. 3

Life Lessons from my father (Bob) as he takes on a new battle

While it has been a few weeks since I released the first two volumes of “B.O.B.” the impact of the response still lingers.

Not only am I grateful for the kind, thoughtful and genuine words from so many of you, it has given my dad strength in a time when he really needs it.

He has begun his treatment and has embarked on his fight with fortitude, enthusiasm and hope.

Still, it is a drain on his physical energy. So I figured this was the perfect time to give him some quick emotional ammunition and share a few more lessons from Bob as he does battle. Think of it as a bit of a spiritual infusion for him.

After all, it is his lessons that I turn to whenever I am faced with my own challenges — be it physical, mental or emotional or otherwise.

Here are a few more in the Best of Bob:

Keep Your Gas Tank Full

Without a doubt, life is going to throw a few wicked curve balls your way. When it does, you can either be left standing at the plate wondering what just happened, or you can take a swing.

The best way to place yourself in a position to take a swing is to try and think about all the potential obstacles you might face in any given “moment” and reduce them through preparation.

Here is one of my favorite Best of Bob’s: let’s say you had an important appointment or meeting to get to: you wouldn’t get on the highway with a nearly empty tank of gas, because the entire time you’d be thinking about finding the closest gas station. You cannot control every outcome or circumstance, but you can keep your gas tank full by anticipating what you might need ahead of time and removing it as an obstacle. Preparing for the things that are entirely in your control means you have a better chance at making contact when that curve comes your way.

When You Go On Vacation, Don’t Wear a Watch

My dad once shared with me that in the height of launching his own business many years ago he was working with a therapist/coach. This was obviously pre-internet days and pre-cell phones where if you wanted to know the time of day, you looked at your watch. Back then he was running around to many many meetings and appointments and was so bound by his watch that he was squeezing every last minute out of everything, cutting things closer than they should be.

So she suggested to him: stop wearing a watch. This way you will have to allow ample time between all your tasks and meetings rather than cutting everything to the last minute because your watch is indicating that you “have time.”

For many years, he stopped wearing a watch, and it helped him tremendously. In full transparency, I never followed this completely but was always fascinated by the concept, so I adopted it with a modification.

Whenever I go on vacation, I leave the watch behind. Giving yourself the freedom to not be so scheduled, and not be so beholden to time actually allows you to savor it more.

The C&E Split

My dad is a master craps player and has taught a lot of people how to play. I’ve seen dealers and other players mesmerized by the number of bets and action in a single roll.

I am not that and never will be or even attempt to be. But there is one thing I took from that I always loved. Always place a small bet on “The C&E Split,” on the come out roll.

The C & E is a combination of two bets. The ‘C’ is the “Any Craps” Aces, Ace Deuce, and 12. The ‘E’ stands for Eleven or the Yo. When you bet the C&E as a split on the come out roll, it lets you look for a glimmer of excitement — a silver lining from the start.

To me this isn’t about craps, it’s about finding those “C&E” splits you can place bets on throughout your life.

There is Always a Work Around

When you are keenly self aware and know your own “flaws,” you can find ways to work around things. Here’s a humorous example but forever stayed with me.

Patience is definitely not a virtue for my dad, and he knows this. When I was a kid, despite not being a great athlete, I still liked to participate in sports, as did my older brother DJ.

We played in the YMCA youth basketball league, or better known as “YBA.” But you couldn’t just sign up, you had to be “evaluated.”

My father took one look at the line to do so and said “forget it.” So he turns to the “evaluators,” and points to me first and says “Average,” and then my brother and states “Above Average,” before promptly taking us out to lunch. Truth is, it was a very accurate, and very efficient evaluation on his terms.

While there is no “work around” for cancer, he can find ways to fight it on his terms and it is my hope that by reminding him of the lessons he instilled throughout life, he does just that.